The Ultimate Victory as a Coach: Building a Foundation for Tough Times

If you coach long enough, you will inevitably encounter a season where tragedy strikes a team. In my 30 years of coaching, we have had to bury a player, several parents, and a few team members’ friends in our schools. We have dealt with divorces, family violence, natural disasters, and numerous injuries that ended seasons or careers.

How does a coach navigate a tragedy during a season, hold a team together emotionally, provide comfort and counsel, and stay focused on winning what is, ultimately, just a game? That question holds the answer itself. At the end of the day, it is just a game. We often make them bigger than they are and assign them more meaning than they truly hold.

Dealing effectively with tragedy begins long before the tragedy occurs. Teams must be built on love, compassion, investment, and trust. Coaches who establish these traits within their teams have a much better chance of navigating a tragedy effectively. Demonstrating unconditional love and acceptance to athletes for who they are as people—regardless of their abilities or performance—builds a foundation to stand on when tough circumstances arise.

The Power of Trust and Transparency

Young adults can see through counterfeit intentions and insincere communication from adults. A crisis demands transparency and honesty from leaders. If a foundation of trust and love has been built before the crisis, there is a much greater chance that the coach will be effective in guiding the team through the tragedy.

I have always strived to be a transformational coach—one who coaches for the betterment of the individual to be great in life, not just in games. Transactional coaches merely use players for their personal gain while they are valuable or beneficial. When those players are injured, graduate, or no longer perform at a high level, they are discarded. Transactional coaches can never successfully navigate a tragedy within their team.

Why Athletes Need to Feel Valued

Young adults need to know that they are valued no matter what the outcome of the game is. They need to know that their coach loves them even when they fail. They need to know that their coach would do anything to help them—in season and out, whether they are winning or struggling.

Just as in an important game that is tied with seconds to go, athletes need to see their coach remain calm, collected, and executing a plan. They cannot believe in a coach who is panicking and emotionally unraveling. The same holds true in difficult circumstances. Their ability to navigate and cope with a tragedy will be greatly influenced by your leadership as their coach. It is vital to be prepared for the unpreparable.

The Ultimate Victory as a Coach

Nobody wants to go through tragedy in a team, but sooner or later, it will happen. Build the foundation now by creating strong relationships based on trust and love. Let your athletes see that you value them and are there for them whether they play well or poorly. Let them know the scoreboard is not the measure of your relationship with them. You don’t have to lower your expectations or standards—you can still push them and demand their best—but you must also be the solid foundation they need to understand that failure is part of the success process. Their value and relationship with you should not change based on performance.

If and when tragedy strikes your team, you will be ready to stand before them, and they will know you are authentic and sincere. Together, you will get through it. That is the ultimate victory as a coach.