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Shawn Jones

DIRECTOR, ATHLETICS

Shawn has 30 years of head basketball coaching experience combined with 11 years as an athletic director. He has coached in Colorado and Texas, and has taken teams to three Final Four tournaments and a state championship. He has seen numerous players of his continue on to compete at the college and professional level of the sport. He is also proud to have seen many of his athletes become high school and collegiate coaches themselves. As director of athletics, Shawn is a key member of Ballogy’s team, driving the company’s athletic strategy, partnerships, coach engagement, and product vision. He has been married to his high school sweetheart for 32 years and they have raised three wonderful children together. Shawn has a passion for player development and the desire to assist coaches with effective, time-saving tools of administering and assessing skill development drills.

by Shawn Jones on Jan 21, 2025

One of the things a coach is never fully prepared for is dealing with parents. I don’t know if there’s such a thing as an indifferent parent. When it comes to our children, we can quickly lose perspective. Every parent wants to see their child succeed, and that’s not a sin.

However, the majority of parents—whether supportive or unsupportive—share one thing in common. Most parents watch their child more closely than any other player, often leading to an unrealistic view or understanding of the player’s performance and/or the team’s objectives. As long as their child is doing well, most parents are happy.

And without fail, there will be a conflict between the coach and parents every season. In these moments, coaches would be wise to learn how to navigate the challenges of working with parents.

One thing I’ve learned in 30 years of coaching is that the relationship is more important than the performance. We all want to win, and we all get worked up at times. But we must keep the relationship at the forefront of our objectives and communication. People will forgive a loss more quickly than they will forgive not caring for—or being rude to—their child.

Communicate, communicate, communicate!

The message can be real, direct, and honest. It just has to be communicated with love and respect. If the child isn’t performing well, let them know they need to improve in specific areas—but reassure them that you love them and want to help them get better. If a player’s attitude is problematic, tell them directly that their attitude needs improvement, but emphasize that you want a positive relationship with them and want to see them perform at their best. This approach goes a long way toward building a successful relationship, as opposed to simply being upset or benching the player.

Another key to effective communication with parents is being specific. Don’t tell a player, “If you keep working, you have a shot this year.” This is too vague and only reinforces the belief that “they’ll make it this year.” Instead, say something like, “If you improve your ball handling, increase your shooting percentage to ‘X,’ or learn to defend one-on-one, you’ll be able to play at our level.” This provides a clear, measurable, and attainable goal for the player, which is easier for both the player and parents to accept.

The last piece of advice I’d offer coaches is to establish healthy boundaries. Too often, coaches become too close to parents, unintentionally creating an atmosphere of entitlement, expectation, and even debt. Coaches might allow parents to treat them to dinners, pay for team outings or gear, and then be surprised when those parents feel they deserve something in return.

Establish a healthy boundary that remains professional, yet friendly. It’s funny— as parents, we never tell our doctor how to treat our child, our dentist how to fill a cavity, or even the plumber how to fix our drain. Yet, parents often feel entitled to tell coaches how to coach, every day. Boundaries must be set in order to maintain a professional environment.

Coaching is a noble profession, and it can impact more lives in a season than most people will in their entire lifetime. Don’t let the “parent trap” steal your success or enjoyment. Instead, learn how to navigate it and use it to your advantage.